Dear NT Ladies, My heart goes out to those who are experiencing the symptoms of Cassandra Syndrome. Still others silently pray or say phrases to reduce anxiety or prevent a dreaded future event while others will put objects in a certain order or arrange things perfects in order to reduce discomfort. Additionally, when the information used to make a diagnosis comes from multiple sources, like family history, an experts observations, school, medical and other reports, questionnaires and standardized test instruments the diagnosis is likely to be more accurate and reliable. I know from my autistic clients how exhausting it is to mask and try to fit in without being rude or offensive. After all, if the husband was character disordered, he might get proper help and change. Click below to ask a question or schedule an appointment. It is priceless to learn the stories of people who are around the same age as me or older than me with a lot more life experience with marriage to someone on the autism spectrum. Again, screening questionnaires are designed to identify potential cases of Aspergers syndrome but they are not a substitute for a thorough diagnostic assessment. A person is diagnosed based on the signs and symptoms he or she has rather than the results of a specific laboratory or other type of test. They may be overly sensitive to one kind of sensation and avoid that persistently. For people who suspect they have Autism Spectrum Disorder and want a professional evaluation, I provide a comprehensive assessment of these conditions. I'm pretty much just a roommate. Shining a little extra light on the fact that it is always important, with every human being, to consider the whole person in addition to noting strands of commonality. If you have any questions, please email me: Cassandra Syndrome Recovery Support-Group on Facebook, Decreased interest in sex and physical contact, Desire to oversleep and difficulty staying awake, Disturbed sleep and early morning wakening, Domestic abuse (emotional and/or physical), Extremes of mood and short periods of hypomania (over activity), Feelings of anger, depression and anxiety, Feelings of hopelessness and despair, sometimes apathy and loss of feelings, High relational conflict with the ASD spouse, Irritability and desire to avoid social contact, More vulnerable to infections and other illnesses, Reduced marital or relationship satisfaction. We will be meeting one hour every week for four weeks, but youre certainly welcome to continue as long as you need to. This 6-week group coaching and therapeutic community is in service of attending to your highest good and deepest well-being and bringing joy back to your life! See more But there is also the Cassandra Syndrome or Cassandra affective Disorder (CAD) which is a series of symtpoms that are commonly felt by the N/T person in an Aspergers relationship. It can be exciting to consider how ones life can change for the better knowing what one is dealing with. She was diagnosis with Aspergers syndrome in 1999. I will be patient with those who need time to understand me. It is not recognized in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. It was my sickness, not censorship, R.D., that caused my delay in responding to you until now. But in practice it is complicated and necessities a professional who understands thoroughly not just the characteristics of Aspergers but how they are played out in real life. I was surviving. The characteristics of Aspergers must be noticeable in infancy or early childhood to receive the diagnosis of Aspergers. There's a Facebook group for couples where at least one of the partners is autistic, I can't remember the name, but the group is truly awful and the members think Cassandra Syndrome is real. Clear evidence that these characteristics are not caused by low intelligence or broad, across-the-board delays in overall development. Cassandra SyndromeNew Hope for Neurotypical Partner, Neurodivergents and Love: Five Good Reasons to Embrace Neurodiversity. Individuals with Aspergers have trouble understanding how people operate but they do respect others, whereas people with APD have no regard for people. "This is why I felt strongly compelled to do this group (how could I NOT do it?). I just welled up reading this. Why go through with it if there is no good reason to assume there might be some likelihood of finding the behaviors and signs of Aspergers? Cassandra Syndrome is not an accepted psychiatric diagnosis but is a description of a historic pattern of women not being believed. As an adult I suspect this is what my mom has. My divorce from my ASD ex-husband is about to come through. Presenting these findings is a multi-step process. While it was named after a mythical woman, it is not restricted to wives in neurodiverse marriages, but can happen with either gender. Feeling confused/bewildered. It provides a means of understanding why someone feels and thinks differently than others. Many of the comments to other posts like Five Good Reasons to Love an Aspie are like this. It also enables therapists, counselors and other professionals to provide the correct treatment options should the person seek assistance. I will answer the question of how accurate a diagnosis is, the confidence one can have in a diagnosis of Aspergers and I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of having a diagnosis. Typically, only when their children are diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum do those around her begin to also suspect that her husband may be likewise neuroatypical. None of our friends who I talked to, and including our grown kids would believe me except for a couple of counselors who understood.My husband worked at the United Nations in Vienna, Austria, was highly gifted musically and an upstanding member of the church. Feeling desperate! Her family members don't understand what she's troubled by. He does not have trouble figuring out his feelings, and he's very good at researching whatever he wants to learn about. One of the critical misconceptions about neurodiversity is that neuroatypicals lack "empathy." Help! In Greek mythology, the god Apollo, gave Cassandra the supernatural gift of prophecy as a way of trying to win her affection. Required fields are marked *. FYI: Im limiting the group to 30 members or less, because I want there to be plenty of time for one-on-one attention (although you wont be required to talk if you dont feel comfortable doing so). They frequently lack empathy and tend to be callous, cynical and contemptuous of the feelings, rights and suffering of others. He is on the whole a good Father. I appreciated the chance to share my story a little bit during the Skype group video format class time. His mom is his only friend, confidant and enabler. Their conversations have to be generally one-sided. He couldnt, and still cant, see anything from our point of view unless we have specific, hard evidence. These women are not grappling with a partner who has autism, but rather struggling with common relationship issues or worse, being manipulated and abused by a narcissist. Because the person with AS does not have the same relational needs as the non-Asperger partner, he or she is often unable to instinctively recognize the emotional needs of his or her partner and may feel ill-equipped to meet them. After you register, please email me [mbhutten@gmail.com] so I can send you the Skype link. It is well and good to practice responses and being prepared, but if I am just sitting with him at breakfast and suddenly, his inability to read a timetable so he can figure out whether he's going somewhere tomorrow triggers a meltdown, it's 0 to 60 in less than a minute, without warning. It can eliminate the worry that a person is severely mentally ill. He doesnt believe you are listening to him unless you agree with him. I may not just know without you telling me, but I certainly can know if you do. Aspergers and Social Anxiety Disorder share the common element of discomfort in social situations. Similarly, having a diagnosis of Aspergers may lead others to assume the person will never be able to be as successful in life as neurotypical people. . Cassandra Phenomenon - Through a glass darkly LiveJournal Many of these women have been purported to suffer from "Cassandra Syndrome," a term coined by psychologist Tony Atwood to refer to women who suspect their partners have Asperger's syndrome, but are disbelieved, . My heart goes out to those who are experiencing the symptoms of Cassandra Syndrome. Long-term the woman can develop frustration, poor self-esteem, rage, anxiety or depression. Married with Undiagnosed ASD: Why Women Who Leave Lose Twice However, I am still pretty traumatised by the marriage that had come to be. In fact, he was angry most of the time. The only way to tell is to be around someone long enough to experience what they are like, to see how they respond in situations that test the features of Aspergers and ask the right kinds of questions to clarify whether they have those features. I am willing to travelbut i need the best!!! Complete . Just as often other people, in researching Aspergers symptoms, believe the person coming to see me has those very characteristics and therefore must have Aspergers. People simply dont comprehend the turmoil involved in living with Autism Spectrum Disorder symptoms. Adults with Aspergers, on the other hand, dont necessarily lack self-confidence or are afraid of being rejected, they are simply not able to pick up on social cues. Focusing on one thing for a long time is hard for them. The results might suggest that it makes sense to investigate further if enough criteria are present to indicate a diagnosis of Aspergers. After speaking to him last night I started doing some reading about the feelings from my side that have motivated my input to what I now realise has contributed to the downfall of our marriage and found cassandra syndrome. I have experience supporting neuro typical partners within relationships or after separation. Sitting down and talking to someone makes the difference between an assessment of Aspergers that has a high degree of confidence and one that is questionable. Most require the respondent to indicate whether he or she agrees with a statement related to Aspergers. Your group experience will help you with: Validating and understanding the source of your anger, shame, hopelessness, frustration, resentments, and fears. I reach out to one of them privately if I'm having a particularly difficult time at the moment. Also, most autistic people I know spend every day trying to make sure their actions dont come off as rude or offensive. Instead, they blame victims of their aggression, irresponsibility and exploitation. He constantly accuses me of criticizing him. Aaaaaaaaargh! The list of symptoms that sometimes occur with someone in a close relationship with an Autism Spectrum Disorder adult is too long to describe in this article, but several reactions are notable. What Is Ongoing Traumatic Relationship Syndrome (OTRS)? - Psych Central Has anyone, AS or NT had experience with cassandra syndrome? How can you find out if you have Autism Spectrum Disorder? Do you have Aspergers Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder) or know someone who does? Cassandra Support Group (Asperger's Syndrome) - Facebook There can be a new sense of personal validation and optimism, of not being defective, weird or crazy. Hes unable to make obvious inferences in a conversation, instead insisting that others are not being clear. Looking toward growth and finding a broader view of the past. By deliberately misleading these women, the individuals promoting this agenda are not only acting unethically, but also causing significant harm to the affected women, their families, and in some cases, innocent men who are being unjustly blamed for relationship difficulties. Some people receive a diagnosis of Aspergers with discouragement and disapproval, believing they necessarily will be severely limited in how they can lead their lives. As one person stated: There must be something wrong with me to want more and think I could have it. He refuses to make eye contact with anyone. The difference between these two conditions is that people with Social Anxiety Disorder lack self-confidence and expect rejection if and when they engage with others. These behaviors, to repeat the same action over and over, are similar to the repetitive routines associated with Aspergers. The wife's friends wonder what about him causes her to me so distressed. My work is not related to the psychological field however since my task is more to this expertise I'm beginning to understand more about mental state. Iam a mother of four daughters on the spectrum. She will make sure you will have a safe place to talk, learn, heal and grow. Cassandra groups | Meetup It's a task that can be puzzling without a neurodiverse lens. Overall, sounds, temperature differences, visual images and tastes more easily overwhelm adults with Aspergers than adults with ADHD. Does Your Man Have Aspergers? - ADD & ADHD Holistic Treatment Cassandra syndrome or Cassandra complex is when a person's warning goes unheeded.
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