Is it not a minister? I had a horrible reputation and people said awful things about me. : Blech! Mrs. Griffith : Olive Penderghast : : Ask some of your friend's parents. Olive Penderghast Brandon I don't know what any of that means. Listen, Mrs. Griffins, I really don't need these. [about the Cross Your Heart Club] Mrs. Griffith Olive Penderghast I've been pretending to be a - how would one phrase it in Catholic words? Principal Gibbons Olive, Olive, Olive. Olive: You know, not really. Rosemary I slept with a whole bunch of people. : Olive Penderghast : Wait, I can pay you! : You're thinking of Disneyland. Does it only exist in 80's movies? : I also heard he gave you crabs. Rhiannon: Now, bitch. Mostly guys. : : And as we all know, by "magic" I mean "nothing.". : Dill No dating for you, young lady. He said something about askin' for your hand in marriage! Mrs. Griffith : Olive Penderghast Rhiannon : Mr. Griffith Perhaps you should GET a wardrobe, you abominable twat. Unavailable on an ad-supported plan due to licensing restrictions. Yes, you did. Also starring: Penn Badgley, Amanda Bynes, Dan Byrd, Thomas Haden Church, Patricia Clarkson, Stanley Tucci, Lisa Kudrow, Malcolm McDowell and Aly Michalka. The actress said she was "going nuts" during the filming of the teen comedy. Not with a fizzle, but with a bang. Mrs. Griffith (Lisa Kudrow): Im the guidance counselor; I should know all the students, especially the ones that dress like prostitutes. Guys we were going to do this at the right time! Olive: Welcome. Olive Penderghast It's very whore couture. : Why? 7 Copy quote. Yeah, but I didn't mean with ME. Olive Penderghast Brandon I like it very much. I just don't want this *thing* you're going through to define your life. Olive Penderghast No, of course not. Bye now Rosemary : They're Costco. : : : Tell me! : Yeah! Mostly guys. I'm only going on what I've seen in the movies. Rhiannon : Olive Penderghast [believes he's talking about sex] [talking to Marianne] [pause] When her best friend Rhiannon invites her to spend the weekend with her family, Olive lies and tells that she will have a date with a nonexistent community college student. Go forth, my son, you're a man now. Olive: Oh, its nothing. Brandon You gotta be sh*ttin me, sister. [beat] : Olive Penderghast George is like what you name your teddy bear, not the name you wanna scream out during climax. Olive Penderghast Who told you? It's not like I've actually been doing the things that people are saying I'm doing, but - then again - I'm not denying them, so I've just been wondering: is that wrong? Woodchuck Todd: Actually I think they just, you know, they fire you. I don't know when it will happen. Although, you gotta love the Quizno's guy: it's the one thing that triumphs religion - capitalism. Rosemary: Olive! : Olive: The rumors are true. Olive Penderghast Rhiannon : Olive Penderghast Rhiannon (Aly Michalka): Youre being pretty cavalier about this. [to Olive] Easy A Monologue- performed by Pagan McGrath - YouTube : : I got that "V" where you'd rather see a "P". Tell me about it. It was make-believe and no one was getting hurt. Rosemary dolly grip Derek K. Cunningham . Yeah, I know that. Go get your chocolate milk. Do you wanna go out with me? A comedic monologue for women from the movie, EASY A, starring Emma Stone and Patricia Clarkson as Rosemary. Which, thanks to recent budget cuts meant *cleaning*. Olive: Oh my God! Is that how much our imaginary tryst meant to you? Woodchuck Todd Rosemary : No, actually, that was a rhetorical question. What? Oh, the Christian church recognizes the existence of Hell. Sanjay Chandrasekhar From the movie's incredibly sharp script, here are 35 of the best one-liners and exchanges from Easy A. : [pretending to be drunk] A reverend? Are you accusing me of nepotism? It wasn't the left tit? Brandon : : Rhiannon: I want every detail, now shit face. And the whack pack just gets bigger and bigger. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Rosemary: Whats the rumor mill churning out these days? Brandon Anything interesting? : I meant about Gibbons' being a fascist. How can we exhibit school pride when we're conveyed to others as Satan worshipers? Thank you! Do you wanna have sex with me or not? best boy grip Ulysses Domalaon . I was just wondering if there's a minster around? : Olive:I want a one hundred dollar gift card deposited into my locker by noon tomorrow. Just the rumor mill. Just as long as *you* won't be there. That rhymed Marianne : And you know what? : If you're still with me - and I'm hoping most of you are - this bring us to part 4. You didn't have? Olive Penderghast [Not believing her] I fake rocked your world! Olive Penderghast Let the record show that I, Olive Penderghast, being of sound mind and below average breast size, swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth starting now. [looks him in the eyes] [to Olive] Olive Penderghast Olive Penderghast I just hope for your sake you had the good sense to use protection. : [Forceful] Olive Penderghast I already did. Hey Olive. So it's his choice that he's a fourth year senior who can't pass any test he takes? Rosemary (Patricia Clarkson in the film) tells Olive (Emma Stone) about her past. You liar! . Are you really that repulsed by lady parts? : Ah, that Roman. : : I could have chlamydia. [with phony innocence] I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. Olive Penderghast Easy A Monologue- performed by Pagan McGrath - YouTube Opening Monologue from film 'Easy A' starring Emma Stone. Brandon Olive Penderghast Olive: Weve had nine classes together since Kindergarten ten if you count Religion of Other Cultures, which you didnt because you called it science fiction and refused to go. Its true. : : They sense any weaknesses, they pounce like jungle cats. : Rosemary Which really is just my obnoxious way of saying lies travel fast. Rosemary: Because I slept with a whole bunch of people. Olive Penderghast But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life. Summary: Rosemary (Patricia Clarkson in the film) tells Olive (Emma Stone) about her past. I am, in fact, considering becoming an existentialist. : : You don't have to be so aggressive about it. Olive Penderghast Olive Penderghast I think that's how you're supposed to start these things. One more aspect of Easy A to look out for next time you watch it is a little aside that occurs in regards to Twilight 's Cam Gigandet. The things that make you most mad about the world tend to be the things that you hate in yourself. It was like setting up Jenga. Olive Penderghast Olive: Rhi! Olive Penderghast : Welcome. Ah, that Roman. You know, the sad thing is, Evan, if you'd been a gentleman and maybe asked me out on a date, I might've said yes. Olive Penderghast The rumors of my promiscuity have been greatly exaggerated. Olive Penderghast (then) Well, about the sister thing, not about the Don thing. Wait! Just once I want my life to be like an 80s movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. : 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. The Young People Who Traverse Dimensions While Wearing Sunglasses, How My HIV Diagnosis Led To Spiritual Empowerment And Personal Transformation, 49 Awesome Heathers Quotes That Make Everyday Life Worth Living, 35 Clueless Quotes That Make Everyday Life Worth Living, 40 Mean Girls Quotes That Make Everyday Life Worth Living. : : : Her parents are the weirdest people I've ever met; and I live in *California*. : Olive: Hi, Im looking for the Bible. : A whole bunch of other stuff happens too. Oh. : : Unmatched by anything you have heretofore experienced including cake. Well! Evan Olive Penderghast Marianne Marianne That boy from yesterday just dropped this off for you Olive Penderghast and don't worry about not making us grandparents. Rosemary: Were a family of late bloomers. Olive Penderghast [Giggles] With an incontrovertible sense of humor. It could be anything - it could be an imaginary butter-bean, lemon squeeze, cowbell Olive Penderghast And that's why I decided to do this webcast. Olive Penderghast This was just a free preview - for the main event log onto "www.freeolive.com" tonight at six p.m. And I know it interferes with the basketball game; but come on, would you rather be here cheering on the Woodchucks or watch me do one? Rosemary (Patricia Clarkson): I had a similar situation when I was your age. Warranted or not. Olive Penderghast Easy A - Wikipedia Olive Penderghast : But the really amazing thing is, it is nobody's goddamn business. Rhi, I'm not that kind of girl. So the next day I had detention. Brandon It was just that a lot of people had been asking me to do things and I thought it was okay, because it wasn't real. A gnome? No dating. Olive Penderghast : Emma Stone's Easy A Monologue Audition - YouTube All I could think was, "Great, now I'm a tramp! Ah, well, rest assured it was equally as thrilling for me. I am, in fact, considering becoming an existentialist. Olive Penderghast : : Oh, I thought I was gonna have to spend my dowry on booze and pills to numb the loneliness.
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